I’ve been following Lauren Hutton on her “30 days of self-love” series. Something she wrote about the other day inspired me.
She said when she’s in a difficult period, she asks her soul to show her what’s already there but she cannot see right now.
Brilliant, I thought. I love that.
Abundance has been the issue du jour for me lately. I’ve been letting go of a massive amount of old beliefs. I know I’m writing a lot about it and maybe I’m beating a dead horse but it’s what’s happening in my life right now. I can’t help but write about it.
So I asked my soul to show me what’s already there but I’m not seeing right now with this abundance thing. I’ve felt abundant the past few months but for a few weeks now, I’ve felt really stuck about it.
A few hours later after getting upset about something totally unrelated, I sat down to just be with myself. My husband says I meditate. I do not meditate. I sit with myself, but I digress.
So I sat with myself. Suddenly my soul showed up and invited me on a journey.
I found myself in Baltimore, Maryland where I used to live four years ago. I was standing on the sidewalk in front of my rowhouse which was a block from the harbor.
This scene was familiar, but my perspective was completely different.
I found myself walking out of my house to visit the Starbucks in the plaza across the street. I did this often when I lived there but suddenly, it was amazing.
I have a Starbucks across the street?! How cool is that? How did I not notice how awesome that was before?
I walked into the Starbucks and ordered my usual drink – a tall french vanilla latte. I pulled out my credit card, which had plenty of money to back it up and paid for my coffee.
I then went outside and sat at one of the tables and drank my coffee. It was delicious. I sat there and reveled in the experience of drinking that delicious beverage.
Then my soul showed me something else.
“Look over there,” she said. “Isn’t that your house? That you own?”
Wow, that is my house. I own a house! That’s amazing! How did I not see how amazing that was before?
Now my soul showed me my car that was parked on the street in front of my house.
“Isn’t this your car? This brand-new car that’s all yours?”
That is my car. I have my own brand new CAR. How awesome is that? I can’t believe I never noticed how great that was.
I finished my drink and my soul invited me to walk over to my favorite store in the plaza to buy myself a new dress. I used to do this all the time, but again, everything was different. I appreciated the dress and there was plenty of money to pay for it.
Now that I had on my beautiful dress, it was time to walk over to a restaurant I loved to order some dinner.
What can I get? I asked my soul.
“Whatever you want,” she said. “Order your favorite dishes. Get all of them.”
I ordered my two favorite dishes and a beer. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I felt so abundant! I sat there and ate my food, loving every second of this imaginary meal.
And then it hit me.
I was completely, overwhelmingly abundant back then. This wasn’t some fantasy life, this was my real life. I lived in a house I owned in a great neighborhood in a city that I loved. I had easy access to delicious food, the harbor, stores I liked and friends I cared about.
Yet I completely missed it. I never realized how much I had.
I can’t believe this, I said. Soul, how did I miss all this? How did I not realize how abundant I was?
My soul answered, “you couldn’t see it because you were in the consciousness of lack. You were perceiving your world through the lens of ‘there’s never enough.’ You had so much back then but you couldn’t see it.”
My soul was not judging me, simply showing me something in a beautiful way, because here was what this journey was really about:
“Lindsay, you are abundant and you have always been abundant. The only difference now is that you can feel it. The real abundance is what you’re living right now. That’s it. You’re living it. For the first time in you’re life you’re truly happy and so, you can appreciate and experience life in a whole new way.
The real abundance is choosing to live and loving yourself.
Now that you are, you can see all that you missed.
The real abundance is self-love.”
Tears came to my eyes as I recognized the truth in those words. I couldn’t see the abundance surrounding me back then because I wasn’t loving myself. There was so much self- judgment in my world that there was no room to appreciate life and all it had to offer. I couldn’t see what was right in front of my nose.
My soul took me back to my present situation – very little money in my bank account and very few possessions.
So now what? What do I do now?
“You continue to let yourself live and you love yourself. The money will follow.”
Well, that’s what I’ve been doing.
“Yes. That’s why I took you on this journey. You couldn’t see that you’re already living the dream. You’re already abundant. This is the REAL abundance you’ve always wanted.”
And then she dropped the mic.
Shout out to Lauren for sharing her life and wisdom so beautifully on her Patreon page. You just helped me bust this s*$! wide open. Thank you.
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