One of the grandest creations in my life and one I’m thankful for everyday is my relationship with my partner.
Well, maybe not everyday. Let’s be real here. Most days.
Anyway, I say this because it’s one of my things.
It’s one of the things I wanted to experience in this life in addition to freedom. I wanted to share my life with another person; to be in a sovereign relationship with someone I loved dearly.
But growing up, I had no idea that being in a relationship like this was what I wanted. It just sort of happened.
It felt soul orchestrated – a love and connection my husband and I were realizing, remembering, and discovering more than creating it our human selves.
We’ve had many synchronistic experiences and seemed to end up together in spite of ourselves and our beliefs about who we should be in a relationship with. He was never who I imagined I would be married to.
I remember the day I realized what an amazing creation my relationship was.
I was sitting on my couch wondering how in the world my husband was still with me. I was acting crazy all the time and was an emotional wreck. I wondered what on earth I had done to manifest this amazing person in my life who still loved me even though I was such a mess, and had been for a long time. I couldn’t understand it.
My soul had something to say about this.
“Girl, it wasn’t you, human you. You created this relationship for yourself long before you were born.”
My soul doesn’t actually sound like that, but that’s what I like to imagine she would sound like if she were a human giving it to me straight.
Oh yeah. She’s probably right about that. It certainly didn’t feel like something I did.
For a while I’d known that I’ve (my soul really) had many lives exploring spirituality and religion. Virtually all of those were alone, without a partner.
I had no problem with this. That was what I wanted in those lives. I renounced all worldly affairs- including relationships- and spent those lives in devotion to God, spirit, or the pursuit of the truth inside me. They were incredibly fulfilling lives.
But my soul wanted to show me another part of those lives that day. She took me to places and times where things began to shift for me and I desired a new experience.
She started by again showing me some of my lives where I was by myself.
In these lives, I’m awake, or very aware of the spiritual side of life. I saw myself meditating in a temple, working in a monastery, and studying mystical books. I loved doing all these things and I enjoyed my solitude.
But inevitably, something began to shift inside me.
It was usually triggered by seeing a couple holding hands, or witnessing the birth of a baby. This sudden awareness of a whole other aspect of life jolted me out of the spiritual bubble and isolation I’d been in.
I was now aware of a desire that hadn’t been there before.
What would it be like to know God AND know another soul at the same time? What would it be like to experience the cosmic love of oneself AND experience that love with another human being?
What an amazing idea that sounded like!
In all these lives, I gave up the potential of a relationship and a family to devote myself to knowing God or spirit. I don’t regret one second of it, but in those moments, I realized I wanted something different.
Because while for me, it was the greatest experience of all to discover God within, it was also sometimes a lonely experience for the human part of me. I realized how tiresome it had become to be alone all the time.
I’ve also had many lives where I’ve been in relationships too. It’s not like I’ve always been alone. But I now had the desire to combine a spiritual life AND a relationship.
So that’s what my soul created for me this time around – a partner. Even though it hasn’t always been easy and we’ve gone through tremendous challenges, I’ve had this constant of a relationship in my life.
But this story is about more than me and my relationship.
Everyone has a thing or things they create in their lives to meet a soul-felt desire. It always explains why our lives look the way they do.
And often they’re beyond what we thought we wanted in our lives when we were younger.
I see many of you out there who have had lots of lives being in a relationship – a lot of them unfulfilling – and so, this time you created a life of freedom and independence. A life to love yourself in an even deeper way than you ever had before.
I see others of you creating lives of grand abundance and business ventures that you always wanted to do, but never got the chance to in other lives.
Some of you created a life where you’re an artist in some form. It’s such a great time on this planet to pursue any creative venture – more so I believe than any other time in history. Anyone can share their art with the whole world in an instant through the Internet.
The point is this: Someone’s life or creation is not better or worse than another. They’re all unique, valuable, and soul driven.
It’s amazing for me to watch and learn what everyone is creating for themselves in their lives. We all have our things and grand creations, and they’re all so unique and personal. It’s beautiful to watch.
So while I sit back and admire my own grand creation that brings tears to my eyes and fills a deep passion and desire in my soul, I also sit back and watch yours.
We all have grand creations in our lives, and I admire yours just as much as I do my own.
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