Oh my god, I’m blogging! This experience is bringing up a LOT of stuff for me, specifically with how the world is perceiving me. This is what it sounds like in my head: “You’re being too preachy. You’re not being understanding enough. You’re too harsh. Your writing isn’t good. You’re not smart enough to do this. You’re not spiritual enough. You’ve talked too much about Donald Trump. You don’t sound like a good, spiritual person. You’re doing it wrong. Your blog isn’t as nice and sweet at this other person’s. Nobody talks about current events in blogs about enlightenment blah, blah, blah”

My writing certainly doesn’t sound like a typical, spiritual, new-age person’s blog and this makes me wonder if what I have to say is ok. How will it be received? How will I be perceived? Often, what I write just flows out of me when I get inspired. It feels like it comes from my soul, not my human self. A lot of the time, my human self judges my writing very harshly, as evidenced above. Sometimes, to my human self, it seems really stupid, silly and very unimportant.

But I can’t ignore that to do this makes me feel very free and expanded. In addition to all these parts of myself it’s triggering, it also brings me joy. The day I decided to write and start this blog, I literally couldn’t contain myself, I was dancing and smiling all day. I was so excited. And it doesn’t feel like work. It feels fun, easy and it just flows. I’ve always had a lot to say, I just never allowed myself to say it out loud until now. So for now, I’m going to keep on blogging. Whatever I feel inspired to write about and share, I’ll do it. I think the voices in my mind will probably be there for a while but hopefully in time they will lessen. I’m choosing to ignore them and keep going with what feels good, and what feels good is to portray myself honestly and not hold myself back out of fear of what others might think.

Comments 4

  1. Hi Lindsay. I just read you blog. I encourage you to continue doing this. Your down-to-earth style will appeal to Shaumbra, i believe. We’re no airy fairy types. It’s all about living a Master’s life while experiencing normal life. And yes, having your own view on things happening in the world is part of that. Just as long as you can stand behind the short wall while ventilating them. I’ll subcribe to your blog and looking forward to your next entry. Enjoy!

  2. Hi Netty,
    Thank you for your comment and encouragement! This has been an issue for me these past two days, feeling like my blog is not nice enough or spiritual enough if you know what I mean. I did think that some Shaumbra might like my writing but I also knew that probably some wouldn’t. I realized last night that even if I tried to be more sweet and gentle, I really couldn’t do it. It just feels bad. I must have a lot of archetypes of spiritual teachers and writers that I’m working through. It’s like a reconciling between the teacher I thought I was supposed to be and what is actually flowing out of me. It seems that “nice” is not what my soul wants to do. Thank you for subscribing!

  3. Hi Lindsay. I’d really like to comment on your posts again (now that I’ve read some more), because you wondered if your style of writing would be OK with Shaumbra and match your ideas of how a teacher should sound. Well, I think you sound excellent as a teacher. Why? Because you talk about your own life experiences and I can feel it is you who is being expressed in your stories. Besides that what you write is very clear and recognizable to people who are experiencing their realization, like me. So again, go on with your valuable work and keep on writing. I’m sure your (future) book will be a great help to awakening people!

  4. Thank you so much, Netty! I very much appreciate your kind words. I’m finding that the more I write and post (while doing a lot of breathing), the less I am caring about what others think of my writing. I’m realizing that it doesn’t really matter and it’s just a fun experience I’m having sharing my life with the world. But I have to say, it’s wonderful to hear that someone is enjoying my writing. You made my day!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.