This money thing is tricky. All around me is the belief that you have to work for money, that you have to put in some effort, energy or service in order to receive it. That energy is a give and take, a back and forth where you are always efforting and then waiting to receive the toils of your efforts. Everything I see, hear and think tells me that this is the only way. It’s all I’ve ever known here on this planet. I’ve been doing it for lifetimes and so has everyone else. It appears as if this is just the way things are.
However, I have this knowingness that there is another way. I can’t see it, touch it or hear it but it’s there. I don’t know what it looks like in my everyday life, how it works or the details but it’s stronger than ever these days. I can’t fit it into my mind. My mind says that it’s not possible, it’s not possible for money and abundance to come to you without any effort on your part. You have to do something for it. You have to work, provide a service or figure out how to bring it in by thinking. My mind doesn’t understand the knowingness. How do you fit this knowingness into the mind? How do you make it understand? Maybe I really am crazy like everyone says I am.
Sometimes I do think I’m crazy and I have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to break out of the laws of the universe of how energy works, like defying physics or the nature of reality. Sometimes the patterns of how I used to do things feels so heavy that I doubt myself. I doubt the knowingness that is constantly present. This knowingness says that I am already completely abundant, that I already have all the money I will ever need right here. I just can’t see it right now, it’s not here in my now moment. This makes me feel crazy. My mind tells me that I have very little money because it’s not in my hands. I can’t see it in my bank account or in my wallet, therefore, it doesn’t exist. I feel like I’m living in two worlds, the physical world where I don’t have much money because I can’t see it and the other world, the world that I can feel where I have unlimited amounts of money. How do I bring these two worlds together?
The knowingness also tells me that I don’t have to do anything at all for money and abundance. I can just let it come to me, simply because I am aware of it. I often doubt myself and this knowingness. Can that be real? Can I really live and create a world where energy serves me without any effort on my part? I look around and I don’t see anyone else doing this. I don’t personally know anyone who is experiencing this in their lives. Everyone tells me it’s impossible. And that’s when the doubt creeps in, that’s when mass consciousness sucks me back. I cry and try to ignore the feelings and the knowingness. I try to think about going back to the old ways and getting a job or starting a business to earn money but I can’t do that for very long. The knowingness of the other way is always there pulling me back out.
Then I remind myself that everyone used to think that the world was flat and that at one time we also believed that the earth was the center of the universe. I remind myself that what we perceive as reality can be changed, that as soon as we are aware that there is another way, we create it. Maybe I am one of the “crazy” ones that is just crazy enough to break us out of old patterns and into a new way of doing things. Maybe I am the one who changes society, the one who they first call crazy and then call genius. Either way, it’s happening. I can’t go back to the old patterns. So now I guess I just have to sit and watch the two worlds merge. It seems I can’t do anything else.