When I was a kid traveling around in the car with my parents, my dad would always put on talk radio programs.
I enjoyed them. There was something about the core beliefs of some of the hosts that resonated with me.
They believed in the American dream. To me as a kid, that meant this:
Anything is possible. In America, you are free to pursue your dreams and you can achieve them.
Anybody can be anything or do anything they want to, no matter what their background is or where they come from.
As a young girl, I liked what these talk show hosts were saying because deep down, I knew some of it was true.
I knew that anything was possible, that all your dreams could come true.
That you and only you were responsible for your life.
That you could change your life circumstances no matter where you came from or what obstacles you faced.
I saw proof of this in my own life. My father immigrated to the United States as a child with, as he tells us often, just a trunk of clothes.
He was now outwardly successful, a living example of the American dream.
Of course anything was possible, I believed. The proof was sitting right in front of me in the drivers seat.
Sometimes though, I didn’t like what I heard on these programs. The hosts’ perspectives were not always so rosy.
According to some of them, there were innumerable social, political, and societal injustices that had to be overcome, dozens of causes to take up, and thousands of “underprivileged” people to help.
I quickly felt overwhelmed.
The more I listened to what these hosts had to say, the more I myself felt like a victim. It seemed impossible to achieve my dreams because of all the barriers I would have to overcome due to all the unfairness present in society.
It was depressing.
Deep down, something about this way of looking at the world didn’t feel right to me.
What was really happening while I was listening to the radio as a kid was I was hearing a part of my “truth.” I was showing myself the wisdom I already had inside me through the words of certain radio hosts. I knew what I knew, and it was being reflected back to me at that time in the form of talk radio.
Later in my life, I let go of politics altogether. I realized that both parties enjoyed being victims of something – and most especially, of each other.
That game got old and I dropped it without a second thought. Talk radio went with it. It was an immense relief to let go of those old right vs. wrong dynamics.
But I still felt like the perspective I held as a child that was reflected back to me through talk radio was true – that anyone could change their lives, no matter how outwardly oppressive their circumstances appeared to be.
Now I know what I was picking up on.
We are the ultimate creators of our reality and all our experiences in life. We are never really victims of anything.
It is up to us and only us to change our lives. No one can do it for us.
We all have the ability to change our reality by changing our consciousness and our awareness.
There is no one out there, no matter how many beliefs, programs, and old stories they carry, that cannot change their circumstances.
No one is ever stuck.
Here’s what this story is really about: I truly believe with all my heart that while initially it may seem harsh to say there are no victims in life, it’s ultimately what sets you free.
I tell you this now at the risk of alienating and angering people so that you can set yourself free as well.
If you know that you are creating your reality, you are then free to change it. There are no forces, injustices, circumstances, rulers, or laws that can keep you from setting yourself free in any form in your life.
You are free to create your reality as you choose.
I will say this: not everyone is on an equal playing field here. This has nothing to do with the perceived injustices of society.
Some people simply carry around more parts of themselves from their past that believe they are stuck. That does make it harder to change your reality, but it’s never impossible.
Most of us don’t even make choices to change our reality because we feel like victims of forces outside of ourselves. We don’t make big, creator choices in life, like choosing to live our dreams because we don’t think we can.
We feel we’re the victims of society, poverty, our past, a relationship, our sex, our skin color etc. and so, anything we dream of, we shut it down immediately.
“Oh we can’t do that,” we think. “There’s all these things in my way that tell me I can’t do what I want to do.” So we don’t choose.
What most people don’t know is that all it takes to change your life is a choice.
As soon as we choose something, it starts happening. It may take a month or a decade, but it will happen.
When you know you’re not a victim, you know that you CAN choose. There is nothing in your way that is preventing your dreams from coming true other than your own beliefs about what’s possible for yourself.
With all that being said, please know this – during awakening, you do have to acknowledge the parts of you that feel like a victim.
That was what a lot of my experience with illness was about. It put to the test my knowledge that no one is a victim and brought up all the parts of myself that felt like they were a victim.
They had to be seen and acknowledged. There was no way around it.
That’s how you change your reality. You change your perspective of it. But you first have to face it. You have to acknowledge what you’ve already created and the lens you’re seeing reality through.
If you relate to any of this story or feel some of the same things I felt growing up, know that you’re not crazy. You’re not uncaring or heartless, you’re just aware of the reality of life and the way the world really works.
Other people’s problems are not your own. You are free to let them go as soon as you decide to.
If you don’t feel this way and still see a lot of victims around you, that’s ok too. As you go through this awakening process, your perspective will start to change.
As you begin to see the creator you really are, you will see the creator in everyone else too. And you’ll realize that you cannot change someone else’s reality for them, no matter how much you want to.
You’ll start letting go of seeing everyone as a victim while simultaneously shifting your own perception of yourself from victim to creator.
That’s often the hardest part. The many parts of ourselves that feel like victims want to hold on to their victim stories for dear life. Who will they be if they’re not a victim of something?
It’s scary. They lose their identity.
It’s also way easier to blame something outside of yourself for your problems than to see yourself as the creator of them. Being a creator takes responsibility, and not everyone is ready for that. And that’s ok.
But know this – when you let go of that identity you are left with a blank slate, a blank piece of paper.
And then, you are free to create your reality as YOU choose it.
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