There’s a few reasons I have this blog.
Mostly, I write for myself. It’s a great creative outlet for me. I love writing.
Sometimes I share my writing because I know that there’s other people out there who can relate to my experiences and it helps them to know they’re not alone.
Sometimes I write what I like to read. There’s a lot written out there about awakening in general but I was always searching for what awakening actually looked like in real life. So that’s what I share – the nitty, gritty, personal details.
But a lot of times I write to myself. I write to the person I was 5, 10 years ago – so confused about life, feeling like she didn’t fit in anywhere and most of all, feeling lost.
So here’s what I write today to my former self:
I know you feel lost and confused right now. This is temporary. This will pass.
You know how you feel different than most people around you? Well, you are. You’re more aware of who you really are than most. This doesn’t make you better or worse than them, just different. You’ve had many more lives than most people on this earth right now.
Lives, you ask? What do I mean by that?
I mean that you are a souled being having a human life. Yes, I know you can feel that deep inside of you. You are way more than simply a human with a body and a mind. You’ve lived many different lives on this planet. Everything from a blood-thirsty warrior to a meditating Buddhist monk. And you know this. That’s why you feel so confused and lost. You wonder what you’re doing here.
This modern world doesn’t reflect back to you what you know. Society is focused on facts, figures, technology, science, and markets. You don’t relate to this. That’s why you don’t feel like you fit in here.
I see that you’ve gotten a little bit lost in this world. You’ve forgotten what you know. You’ve got lost in “the way things are,” the way society has told you how to live. It’s not working very well for you, is it? Don’t worry, things will work out. Once you let go of those rules and start listening to yourself, life will be so much easier.
You know how sometimes you feel so alone? You’re really not. There are so many other people on this planet waking up to who they really are, just like you. You’re going to meet them later. You’ll feel like you’ve finally found friends who understand you.
Also, that thing you’re so afraid of called death? That’s not real. You just leave your body. You always continue existing because at your core, you are consciousness. You will never not exist. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
I see you searching for answers in religion, but believe me, you’re not going to find any there. The kind of experience you’re looking for can’t be found in a church or temple anymore. Religions want a monopoly on God. They want God to only be found through them. What you’re looking for is inside you. Religions don’t teach that anymore. Better to let that go now.
I know you can feel that there’s so much more to life, and you’re right. There is. I know because I’m experiencing it right now. It’s not something I believe or just think about. It’s my reality, our reality. You know and experience yourself as a soul every moment of every day. Sometimes you experience your soul so clearly that you feel like you must be glowing. Other times, it’s just a glimmer in the background, but it’s always there. Your mind doesn’t always understand it but your heart does.
Lindsay, I can tell you these things because this is me from your future. We’re in such a different place now. I know you can’t literally read this but my words are now reaching across time and space and I know you can feel me.
When you are down on your knees crying because you don’t know what to do anymore, I’m there with you, inviting you to let go. Let go of the trying and the figuring out. Let go of the pushing and the struggling. Let go of living someone else’s life and open up to what you desire most desperately in your heart – your freedom.
I know these words have reached you because you’ve already done it. You let go. You opened up to your soul. It wasn’t easy and you cried many tears but you did it. Life is so beautiful now.
I know you’re skeptical about all this. It’s hard to believe that there’s more to life when everything around you tells you there’s not. If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist right? If you can’t see it, touch it, taste it or hear it, it can’t be real, can it?
Lindsay, I promise you this. It’s real. It’s ALL real. And deep down, you know it too.
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